BE CIVIL (PLEASE)

Here are just a few favored examples of civilized behavior reflective of THE FELIX AUSTRIA SCHOOL OF CIVILITY, most of which have wider metaphors of relevance throughout our lives, so fill in your own context and keep them in mind as examples of good principles.  The more abstractly you consider these, the more service they will be to you.

THE HOMELESS (and how we can exercise our graciousness on the street)

There is a homeless epidemic in Los Angeles right now. If you live in Los Angeles or any other metropolis, you will cross the path of a homeless person at least several times per week. It is your opportunity to show your humanity, to practice your better sense of civility (which, in turn, will help you when dealing with people remotely--from behind a voice mail, from behind a screen, etc.)

These are my recommendations:

Greet homeless people as you would other respectable citizens. Just because they are homeless does not mean they are not respectable. (It is not for us to judge the merits of their circumstances.) This means, look the homeless person in the eye and say, "Good Morning," etc. If they have made eye contact with you, walking by them with an air of disdain is not civilized--reminding them that they, too, are a cherished part of humanity is civilized, so look them back in the eye and greet them.

If a homeless person asks for money, either give them money kindly or look them in the eye and say, "I'm sorry, I can't help you at this time" or, "I'm sorry, I don't have cash on me, but take care, sir / man / ma'am."

They are not pigeons--they are worthy of a response and, in many cases, worthy of our help.   I emphasize this, because doing this face-to-face will help you learn to respond to others, in kind--via text, via voice mail, etc. In all aspects of our lives it is OK to say "NO" and much more civilized than ignoring someone and thereby diminishing their humanity. If you're so inclined, give the homeless other means of support, like a reference to a homeless shelter, etc.

DRIVING ON THE HEELS OF THE PEDESTRIAN

When driving and turning into a cross walk in which you see a pedestrian moving across, have patience and give the person space; turning upon the pedestrian's heels, even while you know you will clear them, is not nice.  

SAY MORE THAN "HEY"

When beginning an email or text message to someone other than a friend (real, not just FB or watercooler "friend"), think of who this person is in relation to you and write: "Dear Felix" (email) or "Hello Felix (email / text)" or (imagine this!!!) "Dear Mr. Austria" (email) / "Greetings Mr. Austria" (email / text), etc.  Also, it is best practice not to start messages with "I"; that was long the standard in letter writing and it is good form, because it shows humility out the gate with another person.  With text messages / chatting online, it may seem unavoidable at times to start with "I", but just keep it in mind for more formal communication.

You will come across as brazen and unwashed if you begin an email or text to someone you don't know with, "Hey!"  Err on the side of formality and let the other person (particularly an elder or someone in an obviously superior position to your own) yield to a more casual manner of address.  Don't believe yourself to be entitled to address everyone in the manner you see fit.   Lastly, IDENTIFY YOUSELF at the end of a text message unless you are in such regular correspondence with that person that your identity can't possibly guess at.  

THE INSOUCIANT AND LANGUISHING PEDESTRIAN

Be mindful of acknowledging people who make your present moment an easier moment, such as, our pedestrian in the cross walk (this is for you).  The pedestrian should be mindful of drivers waiting on him / her to cross, so do so without languishing needlessly (i.e. do your best!), and if possible with a slight wave or nod of the head, acknowledge that you appreciate the drivers' patience.  

CHANGING LANES DUE TO THE GENTILESSE OF ANOTHER DRIVER

Like the pedestrian above, give a nod in the rear view mirror--or wherever--so that the driver who has let you into a lane, or otherwise yielded to you, sees that you appreciate this (BECAUSE YOU DO).

AN INTRO TO THE ART OF CONVERSATION

At a dinner party or similar gathering of persons in which you find yourself next to people on either side and across from you, engage each person with conversation at some point--with special emphasis on the persons to your side.  It's unrealistic to engage them all equally, but show interest in each person (even when one or more of them appears to suffer from social fright, to put it politely).  In doing so, it shows a charitable spirit--and perhaps one of aplomb--and you may learn something interesting from a person with whom you really didn't have the greatest curiosity to speak.

FLOODING A TRAIN WITH YOUR PRESENCE

When boarding a train / bus / elevator, give the passengers plenty of room to disembark; if you're close enough to be an obstacle to their exit (and therefore bring discomfort upon them), you're close enough to enter soon enough.  I'm often astonished at how closely people jockey themselves near the doors to such a traveling vessel when they are in the line of first defense!  Let us not be these persons.

A SIMPLE LESSON FROM AN ARCHDUKE

"When somebody greets you in the street, you greet them back," the wise and simple words of the Archduke Otto of Austria-Hungary (1912-2011).  

He meant this, of course, as a metaphor for the letter, the email, the voicemail, the Facebook message, the-whatever-message-on-whatever-app.  If someone greeted us in the street, would we just look at them with a blank stare?  No, we would return the greetings, so let us do our best to respond to messages that come our way (particularly in the case of those that imply a response is needed or desired).  Don't sit there, self-indulgent with all your excuses as to why you can't respond or have failed to do so--you know when you could have done so, but chose not to--do it.  Do it because people matter.  That said, most people understand that the battery of messages coming at us on a daily basis make a response difficult and sometimes messages fall through the cracks.  If the greetings that have come your way require more time than you will have any time soon for a substantive response, respond with succinct greetings and say that you will be back to that person again later--in the best case, you specify when ("after Thursday" or "next week").

I should add that the Archduke, my friend, responded to nearly every single letter that was ever addressed to him. His father was the Emperor of the Austro-Hungarian Empire, he was the former Crown Prince of that empire and so one can imagine there were thousands who wrote to him in exile over his long life.  He employed a battery of secretaries to help him, of course, but for a large part of his life, he personally dictated a response to each letter addressed to him.  I visited his personal archives and saw for myself the walls of letters.  If he could do it, you can do it, too.

THE CULTURE OF NO RESPONSE--AND SAYING THE UNTHINKABLE WORD: "NO"  (OMG, REALLY? MUST WE?--YES, YOU MUST)

"The culture of no response," as Felix Austria calls it: Silence is not an acceptable manner by which to communicate "No" or "I'm not interested," with mostly rare exceptions (such as when dealing with a certifiable psychopath--and I mean that).  

The "culture of no response" touches upon the contemporary convenience of hiding behind our apps and screens and phones to avoid the embarrassment we feel in having to say, "No."  Felix Austria understands this; he also finds himself in this position at times, and it's not easy.  Yes, saying "no" sucks, sometimes--let's just be frank about the that.  

For some, there's no embarrassment at all in ignoring others; it's simple arrogance.  Let us assume we're on the side of the more human, less socio-pathic type, and "we feel so bad for having to say, 'No'."  SAY IT ANYWAY--being honest and forthright allows the other person to know where he or she stands and it builds your character.   Thank the person for having contacted you (fill in your context) and decline whatever it is they offer or request of you; this quickly allows them to go about their business or life without spinning in question as to whether you ever received their message or whether you're an arrogant jerk or whether they're unworthy of a response altogether. 

RIGHT, GOT IT--WE'RE ALL SO BUSY, OK?

"I'm so busy" is best kept in one's head rather than as an excuse for not communicating with people, showing up on time, etc.  

A FINGER-LICKIN' GOOD TIME

Felix Austria doesn't say "never" very often, but he would when thinking of licking his fingers while eating; use a napkin--particularly in public and in front of others.

ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE REACHABLE--AND REACH OUT

The other day I had the great pleasure of hearing Father Greg Boyle speak.  Father Boyle is famous for having founded Homeboy Industries, a non-profit organization that seeks to provide a way out for people associated with gangs.  Something that struck me was when he said, "Allow yourself to be reachable," by which he implied, be reachable to people you perceive to be different from yourself, different from your background, and different from what you know.  

By making oneself "reachable," we remove the veil of separation and "otherness" between ourselves and the world around us; we begin to understand that others--even so different from ourselves, seemingly--are more like ourselves than we could possibly imagine.  

A simple example: The Extrovert meets Shy Person.  Shy Person is veiled in wallflower isolation, like a paradise bird (sometimes looking rather wounded though).  Extrovert, make the gesture to let Shy Person know your larger-than-life persona is human, just like Shy Person's.  Shy Person, trust that The Extrovert actually is curious about you and does care to speak to you.  Run with this example: carry it between the meeting of people of different social class, different gender, different cultural background, different sexuality.

As Father Boyle pointed out in his , it becomes difficult to demonize and judge people whom we know personally.  Let us be reachable, so we can meet and know "the other."

YOUR UBER RIDE

Greet your driver and try to calm yourself after his silly uber-mandated app made him drive to the alley entry of the building instead of the more obvious street front, where you stand.  

In your next Uber / Lyft driven by someone of foreign accent, ask them something interesting about their home country--and be most clever by not necessarily asking where they are from (their profile often states where they are from originally)--you would be surprised how good this makes someone feel who has probably sacrificed and suffered a lot to make it to the United States.

In general, do not eat in an Uber / Lyft vehicle unless you are perfectly ravenous and have no alternative before your next engagement and can do so without leaving a crumb.  Uber and Lyft drivers do not earn enough income to waste time cleaning up after you.

Do not put your shoes anywhere but on the floor.  

If you are frustrated with your experience, only leave a low rating for the driver if his or her performance was truly awful and doesn't have to do with wider Uber / Lyft policies and practices.  You wouldn't want the driver to suffer for Uber / Lyfts policies and practices.  You can otherwise address those companies yourself; Felix Austria has done so.  

Example: Felix Austria often gets frustrated with the crazy directions Uber / Lyft drivers get from the apps they use or are required to use.  Felix Austria knows the map of LA better than any of these apps and is sometimes outraged to see where the driver is going (even when Wayz or whatever-app sees a traffic jam which Felix doesn't).  At times, Felix has expressed alarm and frustration at the driver, but he tries to remind himself the matter usually is not about the driver, but the app.  After his expession of frustration (sometimes called an outburst), Felix tries to call himself, apologize, and not make the driver feel like an idiot and under pressure from some condescending back seat blowhard.  

Thank the driver upon leaving and wish him or her well; they got you to your destination safely and on time, so you're fine, right?

THE UBER / LYFT / LIMOUSINE DRIVER SHALT NOT LISTEN TO RELIGIOUS RADIO

Felix Austria appreciates the spiritual path of everyone, but he does not wish to be subjected to your beliefs over the radio in the back of your car.  He also happens to be Christian, but does not wish to hear your angle of Christianity over the radio.  Keep it on music or public radio; it's less personal and much easier, then, for the passenger to say, "Could you please change the station to something classical"  or "Could we listen to something softer, please?"  When Felix Austria hears religious radio, he is then in the awkward position of asking the driver to change the station, thereby conveying disapproval of the driver's moral beliefs, which Felix does not want to do--but he wants to listen to that station even less.

BE AN AMBASSADOR OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA (in your own private life)

Felix Austria lives in Hollywood and he often sees foreigners dazed and confused as they try to make their away about town--some are tourists, some are immigrant workers.  When you see such people who appear to need help, offer to help them.  They won't take too much of your time and they won't rob you.

COMMUNICATE GRATITUDE

Communicate gratitude to those serving you by looking them in the eye and allowing them to feel acknowledged--that they matter.  This does not necessitate the fake-friendly proclivity of Californians; we don't all have to be "buddies" here, but we do need to be respectful at every turn (yes, even when the person serving you has made a mistake or may not even have done the job you had in mind--the likelihood is they put forth an honest effort). 

COMMUNICATING GRATITUDE TO THE WAIT STAFF

Do so at turns, as they bring things to your table, although one is not obliged to thank them every time they appear, as otherwise it interrupts conversation (and it is not the place of the wait staff to do that).  One does not have to look them in the eye every time one says "thank you"--an exception to the principle above.

TREAT PEOPLE WITH AN EQUALITY OF RESPECT

Communicate an equality of respect to everyone with whom you engage and be genuine in doing so; the Archduke Otto was a master at this.  His moral compass was authentic and so he acted accordingly, by having a sense of where each person around him was coming from and allowing the person to feel at ease in his (regal) presence.  This isn't the nobility of blood, but of the spirit, for it was also said about Mohammed Ali that he treated everyone from the humblest servant to the mightiest celebrity with respect and fairness. 

IDENTIFY YOURSELF

Identify yourself when communicating per text and per phone call; let us not assume that every person we text still has our contact information (iclouds fail at times) or even ever input it.   People not from California place special importance on identifying oneself (historically over the phone), so it makes a particularly bad impression not to say who you are before texting, "What's up?"  "Happy New Years!" "How are you???"  

NAME AMNESIA

We all have "name" amnesia, right?  Get over your smug satisfaction that this will never change and only gets worse and try this: stay in the moment as the person says his or her name--"Gloria" for this point, "Hello, Gloria" (skip the, "So nice to meet you" part--if you can't even remember their name, don't pretend you're that enchanted with having met them and, besides, this is a silly Americanism which foreigners do not appreciate and do not indulge; give it up--even if your cotillion teacher taught you this).  By staying in the moment as you hear "Gloria" and repeat her name, you may be able to commit it to memory beyond the few seconds of that introduction.  If by the end of your engagement with Gloria (whether 5 or 50 minutes), be at liberty to say, "I'm so sorry, could you please tell me your name again, I'm 'Felix'."  

For the matter of the above point, don't beat around the bush by which everyone is embarrassed, be good when you next see Gloria and you've forgotten her name, again, and simply say, "Hello!!! I'm 'Felix'--please tell me your name again; I know we've met before, of course. . ."  Gloria probably feels better, because she forgot your name, too, and it need not further be awkward.

UPON ENTERING A ROOM WITH PEOPLE IN IT

When you enter a closed room (i.e. not a vast lobby or ballroom) in a private house or office, etc. as best possible greet everyone (hostess and ladies first) in some way; with few persons in the room you can likely shake everyone's hand individually (sure, hug them if you know them--it's California--but do not hug them if you do not know them, because that's being a fake-friend-Californian); with a greater number (but not an outright crowd) some handshakes will do (always the hostess / host) and a quick scan of the people that establishes eye contact, with perhaps a wave.  A good example of this in California is the barbecue scene: it's not a closed environment except that it is an outdoor room of sorts and often it's easy to see everyone across the pool, near the barbecue, etc.--as you come through the gate show that you acknowledge people notice your arrival.  

LET US NOT BE SHY

If you are shy and introverted and over the age of 17, put on your big boy / girl / transgender pants / skirts on and project yourself in social situations and in public; put people at ease in your presence and don't project the neurotic eccentricities of your lack of self-confidence upon others (self-indulgence is impolite).  Extroverts may not understand your behavior and simply think you are rude.  

Felix Austria is an extrovert, but not in every single social situation, like any other person, so there are moments when he, too, becomes the Shy Person.  Nonetheless, we open up a sky of opportunity when we transcend our social inhibitions and project ourselves in order to relate to another person.

EXTROVERTS: BE GENTLE

If you are extroverted, when you perceive that someone is shy, be compassionate and say something or do something to put them at ease.  If you are baffled and finally put-off by the shyness of another, remember this behavior is little likely to be about you and that you are, instead, in a position to "open" The Shy Person / The Wallflower to engagement.  Who knows what richness awaits you both if you can just get to a conversation?!

A MOST UN-PC REVELATION: WE'RE NOT ALL THE SAME

Today, where we're almost all on a first name basis with each other out-the-gate, we also like to think that we're "all the same," "we're all friends," "we're all buddies," but we're not, don't be naif--this is an illusion of Facebook culture in which, to certain extents, we all indulge.  Difference in social class will remain with us for the foreseeable future as will cultural differences (thanks God, as my Armenian friends say), so let us navigate those differences as we come upon them gently.

If you want to be egalitarian (i.e. gentle and civilized), start here: if you see someone exhibiting manners that repel you, such as a person licking his fingers in front of you while eating--thereby showing that you very likely come from different backgrounds, or, in any case, different perspectives on decent manners--or such as someone entering the room and not acknowledging you either through eye contact or a verbal greeting and warm handshake (much worse thank licking one's fingers, by the way), do not call attention to this behavior in a judgmental way; above all, do not comment on it to others at the moment; do something that allows that person to feel welcome and comfortable.  

An excellent example of this, of which Felix Austria read from the book, "European Life and Manners" (published 1849): A man of humble origin began making his way into a wider and more refined social world.  He found himself invited to a grand dinner party at the country house of a nobleman because our Man of Humble Origin had become relatively friendly with the guest of honor, a distinguished gentleman.  So ebullient with pride for his friend, Humble Man raised crystal to toast him, but he raised the finger bowl--and, so, too, did the guest of honor (without hesitation), allowing the moment to carry on without Humble Man's good intention exposed as a transgression of social graces (i.e. the best understanding of every piece of silver and crystal laid upon the tables of the upper classes).

Yes, of course, everyone noticed, but one glides over it.  The principle here need not be constrained to class-based situations; it applies equally to all of us who find ourselves among those not of our own background (e.g. ethnic) and similar "code" of manners.   

NOT EVERYONE IS YOUR FRIEND--LEARN TO DISTINGUISH WHO IS

Not everyone is your "friend"--some people are your elders, some are your colleagues, some are friendly acquaintances, some are your minor-aged children; learn to distinguish the difference, because otherwise engagin with people in society will become a blurred mine field of apparent (but not real) sameness.

SAY MORE THAN "HEY"

When beginning an email or text message to someone other than a friend (real, not just FB or watercooler "friend"), think of who this person is in relation to you (see examples above) and write: "Dear Felix" (email) or "Hello Felix (email / text)" or (imagine this!!!) "Dear Mr. Austria" (email) / "Greetings Mr. Austria" (text).  

You will come across as brazen and unwashed if you begin an email or text to someone you don't know with, "Hey!"  Err on the side of formality and let the other person (particularly an elder or someone in an obviously superior position to your own) yield to a more casual manner of address.  Don't believe yourself to be entitled to address everyone in the manner you see fit.

ERR ON THE SIDE OF FORMALITY

That's it; trust yourself to know the exceptions to this and when to apply them, but otherwise you're safe on the side of formality.  Let someone else, i.e. elders and people in positions superior to your own, to lead the way to a more casual manner of address.

SAY "HELLO" FIRST, PLEASE!

When coming upon anyone whom you plan to address, simply say, "Hello," first--as one would on the telephone. Of course, among close friends, you may just say, "Hey," but don't just launch into conversation without first giving some kind of salutation and preferably with the person's name or honorific.   Felix Austria doesn't care whether your wife or lover is approaching you, say "Hello" first.

"I'LL TREAT" -- LET'S NOT ARGUE ABOUT IT

In Europe this is called "I'll invite you," as in "Je t'invite" or "Ich lade Dich ein".  "I'm treating." If someone beats you to saying this, even if it was your intention to do the same, in general accept this humbly and say, "Thank you, how kind of you."  Making a scene of protest only brings unnecessary attention to the matter and, ultimately, the fact that you did not offer this first.  If you feel strongly about it otherwise, say you will treat next time and see to it that follow-up on it.  "Paying it forward" elsewhere in the world is also good practice.

IF YOU HAVE THE INTENTION TO HELP OR TO GIVE, JUST DO IT

When Felix Austria lived in Vienna, his beloved landlady, whom he called "Oma" ("Grandma"), taught him a valuable German proverb, "He who asks does not give kindly."  It is a principle with special exceptions--you will figure them out--but in general you act, you don't ask as to whether you may act.  

Example: when someone has experienced a great trauma, don't respond on FB by asking how you can help: identify the range of their needs as you imagine them to be and go help.  "If there is anything I can do to help. . ." sounds charitable and polite, but is not, make no mistake of it--it is an empty phrase.

Don't ask the beleagured how you can help--they can't think straight (they're beset by grief and / or shock); how would they be able to coordinate your relief effort in such a state?  Prepare a meal for that person and bring it by--so what if they don't like pork sausage in their lasagna and you didn't know that (if you can only cook lasagna, do it and bring it).   They may not be in a position to respond to your question of what their culinary preferences are--imagine what they are.   They don't have to like or eat your lasagna, but chances are they will and in any case, they will be deeply touched by your gesture.  Moreover, others will be flowing through the house and perhaps they will be wild about a meat-lover's lasagna (and we hope someone else is coming by with the stringed beans or whatever).  

People in great need, particularly due to an emergency or death in the family, do not have the time or mental bandwidth to organize all the people offering on FB to help them.  They just need help, so help (with a sense of discretion, of course, as you wouldn't want to further complicate their life--meals, flowers, cards, taking the dog for a walk, showing up to be of service, etc. will do).   When you show up with that meal or card, ask what you can further do--offer to be the designated driver, offer to write the obituary, or rake the leaves in front.   Don't ask if "there is anything more" you can do, the answer will almost always be, "That's all, thank you," when in reality they need a tremendous amount of help.  That said, know when to stop--don't apply pressure to help.  People of Felix Austria's culture--Anglo-Saxon culture--are woefully proud and therefore hesitant to accept help (we like to imagine ourselves capable of never needing help, except from people who work for us or are our nearest relatives), so tread lightly at a certain point.  

Another more quotidian example: Oma mentioned this proverb to Felix Austria when Oma had a lady guest enter the house around tea time (4-6 pm).  Felix, thinking he was doing just the right thing, stood to greet the lady and take her coat, then asked, "Can I get you something to drink?"  Oma quietly turned to Felix--out of earshot of the visiting lady, naturally--and said in German, "He who asks, does not give kindly."  Felix might better have said, "What can I get you to drink, Frau Geiger?"  Or, "Frau Geiger, would you prefer tea or coffee to drink?"  Or, Felix could simply go to the kitchen, put tea and / or coffee, water, and treats on a tray and return to the table, whereupon the lady would have her choice of refreshments.

This is the principle; your situation may be less formal, like "grabbing" a Pepsi or a beer for someone.  Likewise, it may be something else entirely, like seeing that someone may want to sit and instead of offering them a seat outright, you ask, "Would you like to sit?" Well, no, maybe not if that's the way you're going to put it. . .

WHEN REQUESTING A PROPOSAL FROM A SERVICE PROVIDER

Having worked as an architect for many years, Felix Austria often submitted proposals to potential clients for consideration.  The degree of disrespect by potential clients accorded these proposals was often alarming, not to mention discouraging and frustrating.

RESPOND to the proposal.  The service provider has spent a lot of time and effort to do something for you that will enhance your way of life.  Thank the service provider for having rendered the proposal and say that you will consider it; in the best case you will tell the service provider when you might be able to give a response.  Do not let the proposal sit in some kind of silent purgatory, say yes or no and move on.  If you need six months to consider the proposal do it, but notify the service provider of your intent--don't let them sit there wondering what happened to that seemingly ungrateful potential (spoiled and uncivilized) client.  Principle: don't leave people hanging.

WHEN OFFERING TO HIRE

Every applicant deserves a response--yes, EVERY APPLICANT.  Most applicants have spent considerable time and effort editing their CV or portfolio just for your company or firm, so they deserve a response.  "But we received like 880 applicants."  Really? Well, that means you must have quite a successful company or firm, which also means you must spend a lot of time promoting your company on every conceivable social media wave length, which means you must know how to generate an automated email message that says, "Thank You for your application.  We will review all applications and if we find yours to fit our criteria to advance to the stage of interviews, we will further contact you."  If you interview someone, tell them when you will respond and do so, whether the answer is "yes" or "no."  If your process takes longer than previously imagined, update your interviewees.  Principle: don't leave people hanging.

AT THE REGISTER

Felix Austria recently asked his favorite barista, Dax, at the Oaks Cafe, Franklin Village, Hollywood, CA, "Dax, what would you want to tell your customers, if you could."  Dax: "Please don't approach the register on your cell phone." Felix: "What?  People really do that?"  Yes, apparently often.  When you're approaching a register of any kind, give the person behind it your attention, look them in the eye and greet them.  If you're on your cell phone in line (called: "on line" on the East Coast), which Felix understand can happen (such as when he's shopping and his mother keeps talking all the way up to the moment he's about to approach the register and, having respect for his mother, he has so far been unable to make her aware that he needs to pause the conversation), pause whatever conversation you're having, give the register attendant your attention, place your order / transact the sale, step aside and resume the conversation (or in the best case scenario, leave the store first).  Principle: we want people in our presence to feel our respect and attention.

WHEN ASSEMBLING FOR A GROUP PHOTOGRAPH

Try standing in a way other than with interlocked arms above shoulders--unless you are a football team.  Felix Austria recognizes this recommendation is one essentially of "taste," so it is a recommendation of a lesser degree, but consider it.  This does tie into a sense of civilized poise and such a photo of people preparing to huddle is not civilized poise.

PRACTICE EMPATHY, NOT SUPERIORITY

“He was right here! I took a pic and his hand was in my back pocket and then gone!”  --The mother whose child was next seen in the clutches of a zoo-kept gorilla. Public opinion in many corners turned hatefully against the mother in the most bizarre way, as if not having one's eye on one's own child each and every moment is somehow realistic or even normal.  Do be good, parents, to recall that if you were born before 1980, our parents often were NOT watching us.

From a blog called "The Other Courtney":

"We have all been there. We may all be there someday. Practice empathy, not superiority. Practice love, not hate."

DOES FELIX AUSTRIA DO ALL THIS ALL THE TIME?

Lastly: Does Felix Austria of the Felix Austria School of Civility act according to all the recommendations above at all times?  No, don't be silly: role models of any kind, whether it's a princess, a preacher, the Dalai Lama, a police officer, or the mayor, are human; one does one best, although Felix does not lick his fingers (ever) while eating (a sadly superficial virtue in the realm of manners, to be sure).